Win your very own former celebrity!
Now you can have your very own former movie actor! It's easy! Just bid... And he shows up at your door! I've been very close with Billy for almost 9 years now, and I must say that he is well past his prime. He's best known for his appearances in The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi as the character Lando Calrissian. He's also been in countless terrible movies, which featured terrible directing and producing, and even worse acting. Lately he's been peddling his "art," because he thinks he can paint. He's also written some crappy science fiction book.
The fact of the matter is, these things simply are not bringing in the money that this man needs to support his insatiable taste for heroin. I simply cannot support him anymore. He eats all my damn crackers and drinks all of my V-8 and beer. I decided last week that he needed to leave if we were to remain friends. I tried to tell him to leave, but he just doesn't understand it, and it makes me feel terrible. So I decided to pawn him off on some poor, unfortunate soul like you.
Billy agreed to this, as long as he gets "his way" with some things. For instance, he has to wear that damn cape wherever he goes. That's not debatable. He'll do just about anything you want him to, as long as he gets to wear that damn cape of his. He'll clean your house, your car, your refrigerator, whatever. He'll pick up your kids from school, take grandma to the beauty shop, you name it... He's here to serve you!
Billy comes with 3 different capes, a fake Star Wars-style laser gun type thing, and a couple of cases of Colt 45 Double Malt. The Colt 45 is worth at least $15.00 - there's enough to get a small army of elephants drunk. Please, have a heart! Bid on Billy Dee Williams TODAY.